He knows this is it since they told him, 'you might not debut'.
They told him he's wrong. They told him he's precious. They kept telling him that everything will be fine in the end, it will be 9, they will be 9 and they will debut together. Perform together. Just be together like they promised each other in the beginning of everything. They kept telling him to hold on, kept offering him help to get better.
They trusted him, and here's the problem. They wanted to trust him.
He's standing there, a small smile crept upon his face while looking at the mess around him. Somebody's hand slung around his shoulder, accompanied with a sob. He didn't see, but he was sure it was Jisung. The boy was always the one with too much emotion, with no fear of showing themselves, not holding back anything that he felt. Ah. Maybe that's what makes them different. What makes Jisung safe, still in the run to become the debut member after the end of the show. He wasn't like that. He wasn't confident like Jisung.
Slowly, he raised his arms to hug the boy, hands intending to comfort him when it just made him sob louder, cried harder. Oh dear. He can never do anything right, can't he? The small smile broke, and his face remained impassive that way until now, when he was standing in front of the door of their once shared dorm.
Everything after Jisung came like a blur. The staffs slowly asked them to move, ushering them to leave and do this somewhere else. Their dorm, preferably, he heard one of the staff whispered to themselves. He dragged Jisung out with him, 7 more following his back with the same sadness, perhaps. He didn't see, didn't dare to see. He was afraid if he dared to look back, he would see a sea of sharp eyes, piercing and blaming him to not work harder, practice harder, improve more.
(And maybe they should.)
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