good night

He knows this is it since they told him, 'you might not debut'. They told him he's wrong. They told him he's precious. They kept telling him that everything will be fine in the end, it will be 9, they will be 9 and they will debut together. Perform together. Just be together like they promised each other in the beginning of everything. They kept telling him to hold on, kept offering him help to get better. They trusted him, and here's the problem. They wanted to trust him. He's standing there, a small smile crept upon his face while looking at the mess around him. Somebody's hand slung around his shoulder, accompanied with a sob. He didn't see, but he was sure it was Jisung. The boy was always the one with too much emotion, with no fear of showing themselves, not holding back anything that he felt. Ah. Maybe that's what makes them different. What makes Jisung safe, still in the run to become the debut member after the end of the show. He w

"Udah ngantuk?" "Udah." "Cupu lo." Bukannya marah, aku malah menatap lekat-lekat wajahmu yang tertawa — menertawakan aku yang sudah susah terus membuka mata. Tawamu reda, berganti jadi senyum lebar. Aku mengerjap, lalu kamu tergelak lagi. Kali ini tanganmu menjulur, hinggap di puncak kepalaku. Lantas aku memejamkan mata. Enak, hangat. "Bobo gih." "Nggak mau. Masih mau ngobrol." Kamu tertawa lagi. Mungkin karena suaraku sudah terdengar berat, dan mataku tidak kunjung kubuka. Sudah nyaman, apalagi tanganmu terus mengusap lembut kepalaku. Napasku sudah mulai berat. Yang tersisa cuma jeritan di kepalaku yang masih mau menghabiskan waktu denganmu. "Kan gue nggak kemana-mana. Lo tidur sekarang, nanti bangun juga gue masih ada." "Bohong." Aku membuka mataku. Menatapmu. Lekat, berusaha menangkap garis-garis siluetmu yang timbul-hilang. "Kalau aku tidur kamu justru ilang." Sensasi hangat di atas kepalaku menghilang.